Children of separation should be able to choose parent they live with

Ruby Sanchez, Guest Columnist

Many teenage parents have their first child in high school according to The Annie E. Casey Foundation Kids Count Data Center. According to GoodtoKnow, it’s very rare for the baby’s parents to stay together as a couple and build a family.
As the young teens parents they are, they don’t realize how a baby suffers due to parent separation. Association for Psychological Science researched how a couple separation that involves a baby affects the child. The study showed the child suffers fear, panic, sadness and feels the loss of a lifeline because they feel hurt for not seeing both parents together.
Family attorney Melissa Graham-Hurd, said on her website she has noticed how when they are young, they can still remember and explain what they go through by crying when going with one parent or behaving badly with the other parent. According to an article on, it’s normal for a child to prefer one parent over the other because the child feels like the preferable parent gives them more attention, love and time.
Based on what a single, teen dad, Cesar Sanchez, experienced when his baby was 2-years-old at that time, was that the baby’s mother got jealous because he preferred Sanchez than her and so what she did was not let him see the baby for 10 months. The baby was affected more than ever since he felt lonely and separated. Unfortunately, the baby must suffer the consequences because he is still not old enough to legally be with the preferable parent.
“I was to the point of hurting her, but I wasn’t capable of doing so knowing what my baby will suffer,” teen dad Cesar Sanchez said. “My only option was to put child support on myself and pretty much pay to barely see him.”
As reported by The Enos Law Firm a child can choose which parent they want to live with when they are 18-years-old, but by that time the child has gone through the worst and passed the stage where they need the most help and support of a parent; because of how ignorant they are, they question everything. Additionally, noted how at the age of 18, a child has lost relationships with both parents since a parent didn’t allow the child to see the mom or dad, which leads to a childhood trauma about no parent wanting them. In the words of Social Audience Editor, Nicola Oakley, the trauma a child will experience for getting lied to to not see the other parent is the most psychologically damaging a child will have to go through.
On top of that, there was a question and answer Oaklet created in Quora about the most psychologically damaging comments that could be said to a child and the answers fall under lying and grounding a child for wanting to see their other parent or when a child questions dad or mom about life. Like said by FirstCry Parenting, not knowing how to raise or talk to a child leads to aggression, depression and addiction to drugs.
By the age a child is able to read, write, problem solve and talk to their level they are second graders between 7 to 8-years-old. KidCentral also stated that a 7-8-year-old brain has the concept of the life cycle and questions the surroundings of a home. Psychology researchers from University of Rochester Medical Center, a 18-year-old also knows how to read, write, problem solve, and talk too. Their brain is much different than a younger person’s brain, but not as different since they haven’t left that stage long ago so they still have many similar thoughts. Adult thinking, brain development, and being able to be independent are 18-year-old brain development, so there isn’t a reason to legally be with a parent at that agewhen a parent isn’t needed like it was at a younger age.
The United States Department of Health and Human Services reported that 70% of mothers abuse a child more than fathers because they have found another boyfriend and there is nobody to defend the child. Child abuse is 40 times more likely to happen when single parents find a new partner Philly Voice Contributor, Amy Wright Glenn, reported. Just how much a mom is needed in a child’s life, so is a dad. Court does not live what a childlives 24/7. Therefore, when a child is 7-8-years old they should legally be with the preferable parent because based on KidCental by that age they have a complex language, focus and attention brain development and are reasonable to what happens in their life.
Ruby Sanchez is a sophomore and journalism 1 student.